Gabriel would have been 6 months old

Our precious baby boy would have been 6 months old tomorrow. We miss him so much. Time has went by fast, but at the same time it seems like eternity that we have been without him. But I know that we will be with him again. I will live everyday the best I can to ensure I see him again. I wanted to share a few more pics of him. which I will probably continue to do for quite some time or at least at every birthday. I hope his story continues to touch hearts and change lives. You can visit his website at http://www.caringbridge.org/. type gabrielmele for website name and it should take you straight there. also I posted several pics and comments when i first started my blog so if you want to see more please check out my earlier posts.

In the first pic Tony was trying to let Gabriel's puppy Goldie come near Gabriel but at the same time he had to hold her back. She loved Gabriel so much she was just too excited when we let her near him that we always had to hold her back.

I love this 2nd picture because even near the end of his life he just still looked so perfect to me

I love this 3rd picture because of his crazy hairdo and the cutest look on his face. I think he was getting tired of all the pics.

16 weeks

Here is my 16 week pic. well actually it was taken 1 day earlier but close enough. This was the recliner Tony bought me for xmas last year. I love it !!! I love it even more this pregnancy than i did when I was pregnant with Gabriel and I didnt think that was possible. I have had a lot of round ligament pain from the stretching of my uterus and the recliner is the only thing that I can sit in comfortably!!! but I am thankful for the pain cuz that means my baby is growing!!! and its not too bad just annoying feels like ive pulled a muscle in my side every time I move.

Hard day

Today and last night have been really hard for me. I dont know whats wrong with me but I just cant stop crying. I guess it started when i found out Previa was still present on thursday. Im just so afraid that something will happen to my baby. and Im taking out my fear on everyone by being downright mean or just crying all the time. I had ablessing today which has helped so far. plus ive been feeling the baby a little more frequently. I prayed all night that I would have a feeling of comfort that evrything is ok, and this morning the baby was very active and I could feel quite a bit. of course nothing strong ( I wouldnt notice it if i was moving around) and Tony cant feel it yet. but it was still comforting. I couldnt quit crying in sacrament meeting today. A baby was blessed and it just reminded me of when Gabriel was blessed. I started crying becasue im so afarid of somethign happening and not having the oppurtunity to do that with this baby. I think people believe my fear are unwarranted right now becasue there is still a chance for my placenta to move up. But it is overwhelming knowing what can happen if it doesnt. I feel like I did when Gabriel was in the NICU, Helpless. There is nothing I can do but wait and see what happens for now. Then after twenty weeks we can start taking action. I feel incompetant becasue soon my body may not be safe enough for my baby, and the smallest action like sneezing or coughing could cause bleeding and be potentially dangerous for me or baby. I know that is only when I get much further along and I dont really feel like that is going to happen. I know there might be problems but I know we will get through it and that everything will be as it is supposed to be.and I just dont really feel like this baby is going to be taken from us. but even being positive and having faith doesnt erase the fear I have inside of not being able to protect my baby.The feeling I have reminds me so much of Gabriel which just makes it harder. I miss him so much and would give anything to just beable to hold him again.

Please say a prayer for a couple of my friends

I have two friends who have received some not so great news and could really use some prayers. Tricia's daughter Emily was in The NICU with Gabriel in Okinawa. She was able to go home and was doing great but they just found out Emily has Fanconi's Anemia. It's a fatal blood disease. She's fine right now but she'll get leukemia when she gets older. If she survives that, she will have to battle different forms of cancer. Right now their life expectancy is in their 20's. I know there is nothing to cure this now but her family could use some prayers for comfort. Also My friend Melissa has a son In the NICU. He was born at 29 weeks and has been doing great. However today they found out he has blood in his brain. which is normal for many preemies and can resolve itself without any major problems but there is always that chance that it couold get worst and there is nothing they can do. If it gets worst it could result in his brain being altered or he could pass away. Please say prayers for this little man and his family.He has already endured so much and he is a fighter but the power of prayer is very strong and every prayer helps. Thank you all!! If you would like to show your support for Braden and his family this is their website http://johnandmelissavoss.blogspot.com/

Im so tired!!!

Today I went around my neighborhood and passed out invitations to my open house on Saturday. It was very hot and the weight of the pack was getting me a little breathless. I guess I'm more out of shape than I Thought LOL. Tony came along with the dogs and kept offering to carry it but i figured i better just carry it in case someone wanted to see the products. I met some very nice ladies that said they will be coming. There were about 4 of them so I'm excited. Most the others just took the info and said they would see if they could. and a few asked for a catalogue but said they wouldn't be able to come. Even if nobody buys anything I just hope people show up so that I can get to know more people here. In Okinawa I only had a few friends which was OK with me because I was working all the time until I got pregnant. But once i started staying ho9me it was hard. Thank goodness heather and Connie were always there to entertain me or else I probably would have went crazy. Tony went to a football game tonight with our neighbor. It was a college game at the qualcom san diego vs Idaho. he had just said a few days ago that even though he doesnt like football he would like to see a live game at the qualcom. well he got his wish. But now I want to go so i guess we will have to make it a date one of these days.

Dr appt

we had another appt Yesterday. I still have a complete previa. but it still isnt too big of a deal until I reach 20 weeks. so I am scheduled for another ultrasound in 5 weeks. If the placenta hasnt moved up by then I will be transfered to the high risk OB clinic and put on a modified bedrest. but unitl then just no lifting jogging or strenuous activity and no lovins for Tony.
I have signed up to be a consultant for scentsy candles so if you would like to purchase anything please let me know. My website is www.scentsy.com/shanelle. Im very excited and hope that I am successful in this. This week has been nice because tony has been off early almost every day. He is teaching a driving class and they are getting done very early. but things go back to normal on monday. I guess im on my own again for entertainment. Thats ok Ive got a lot to do anyway!!!

Holy belly!!! 15 weeks

So here is my 15 week. My belly is growing so much faster this go around

Ultrasound

So I had an ultrasound friday evening and The tech asked if we want to know the sex if she can tell so of course we said yes. He was so cute too watch. He was sucking his thumb and waving his hand and it even looked like he was blowing kisses a couple of times. Then she checks the sex she said well it looks like you are having a baby boy. I think tony was surprised becasue he was determined We were having a girl. We were so happy to hear we were having a boy except We dont have a name yet. we cant seem to agree on one. I like Jayden and Tony says he likes it but we will keep thinking. If you have any ideas throw them our way!!! Heres some pics of our little sunshine two profile and one where he is looking right at us waving. well at least thats what I say he is doing. He's probably really screaming let me out of here!!!

Our Jeep!!!

Heres our new Jeep!!! This will be the first vehicle tony and I have purchased together. Well we bought several in Okinawa but we knew we wouldnt beable to keep those for very long. Its just cheaper to sell them there than ship them back. But anyway... Our first family Vehicle!!! I love it!!!

visiting Idaho

I just returned from Idaho Thursday night. It was really nice to be home. We went camping for Kylers birthday. While going up the mountain on 4 wheelers we came across a huge tree that was blocking the path so My Dad and Tony (with a little help from Kyler and my cousin cassidy) had to chop it in half with an ax so it could be moved out of the way. They were exhausted!!! The ax was dull so it took quite a while but they finally got it done. we also took a family photo before Tony had to leave that following thursday. Then the day before I was supposed to leave (the 13th)We found a a jeep grand cherrokee special edition for wholesale price. sticker price is 16,ooo we got it for 10. I think the only reason we got such a good deal was becasue my dad had bought all of his vehicles from them. so anyway I stayed an extra week so I could buy and get it registered. Then Alaina and I drove to cali and she flew back this morning. The drive was long but it wasnt too bad. but I know Alaina was thankful she wouldnt be driving back.